Posted by: BillyMcGuinessRealtor | June 19, 2009

Affairs Divorce and other warm fuzzies

I’ve been thinking a lot about affairs and divorce lately… (Colleen… nothing involving us… I Love You!)  It seems every time I turn around I am hit with news of another couple splitting up, or the rumors of the same.  It really breaks my heart when I hear these stories.  I don’t even need the details to be completely drained emotionally.

It’s sad because at one time these people where so in love, they would get all giddy just thinking about the other.  They would get excited about there future together, they would dream together, they would plan together.  There hearts and minds where completely in sync… Now they don’t want to live in the same house that they dreamed about, they don’t talk anymore, they won’t even look at each other.  What changed?

I believe at the heart of all this that they let selfishness creep in and take hold of there hearts and minds.  They stopped living for others and started living for themselves.  At some point they forgot about the vows they made to each other.  They stopped bearing with one another and started blaming, They forgot about till death do us part, and started leaving (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually).

It’s easy to leave and let selfishness creep in.  It’s easy to run away. It’s easy to blame the other.  It’s hard to stay, and talk it out, to forgive, to choose to love.  If we are not careful it WILL happen to us.  If we don’t work with our spouse to continually improve our relationship, if we stop trying to find new ways to meet the others needs, if we don’t put them first, WE WILL FAIL. It’s not a matter of if but when.

I’m not throwing stones.  I’m not perfect.  My relationship with Colleen isn’t perfect.  There are plenty of instances where we are selfish… Come on over and look at the pile of dishes that need to be washed.  We both know that the other wants them done, neither of us want to do them, and so they sit.  Now does this signify the end of our marriage?  No… but if left unchecked it could lead to feelings of neglect, which could lead into everything I described above. (The dishes have since been done… now it’s laundry)

Let me challenge you to go home pull out a picture of the 2 of you when you were dating, reflect on those times, do the dishes, make up the bed, buy some flowers,  and when the kids go to sleep sit your spouse down and ask them what you need to change.  Don’t let your lazy, self centered, egotistical  nature win.  Don’t sit there with a list of what they need to change.  Do it honestly and humbly.  Do the work of making your Marriage better then you possibly imagined it could be.  Pray together.  Dream together.  Then “Go to bed!”

Trust me it a lot better than the alternative.



  1. Excellent post and perspective…

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