This morning I brought my daughters to the Dr’s office.  It was time for Emilie’s annual check up.  Although I think the Dr. we had is a complete doufus, things went well.  She is healthy and strong.  On the way out we were crossing the parking lot on our way to the car.  The following sequence takes place in about .0003 seconds.  Emilie darted out in front of a car,  I grabbed her and pulled her back to me by her arm.  I screamed, she cried. 

I was lost for words.  I was angry that she ran out without looking (very out of character), relieved she was ok, and thankful the driver stopped.  Emilie told me she thought it was ok because the car had stopped.  I told her that the car was completely stopped and she could have been really hurt.

After a quick Panera Bread lunch we came home.  I sat at the computer to read some e-mails and read this blog by my pastor and friend.  He shared this story about the loss that Stephen Curtis Chapman and his family suffered on Wednesday.  And I instantly began to cry.  So many thoughts filled my mind.  That could have been me.  I prayed and thanked God that it wasn’t me and said a casual “and be with that family amen”.  I’m just being honest.

I then click on another blog in an effort to escape the “negative feelings” so I click here.  Little did I know it was another blog about the same incident.  But after reading it I felt ashamed… I shouldn’t be so disconnected.  I shouldn’t feel so wrapped up in my own thing that all I can muster is a “and be with that family.” 

Now I too am pissed off, at my self. 

The thing about that post is that it reminded me of 2 things.  1. Our God allows us to wrestle with him.  He gives us the ability to call out to him and fight what is in our hearts.  In the moment and in the battle he is there to remind us that HE IS GOD.  and HE IS IN CONTROL.  and HE LOVES US.  and 2. I was reminded of this blog.  Matthew 5:4 says “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”  I like what it says in the Message “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. “

My Prayer is the The Chapman family is comforted, and that they find peace, and they know that Maria is comforted and in peace.

 

Billy