This Friday at 6:30 am April 15, 2008

As Friday draws closer I stop and think about the last 5 years and how terrifying, life changing, incredible, and fulfilling they were.  And how all together privileged I am.

My journey over the last 5 years really started 6 years ago.  Life then was by no means simpler.  I was dating the women who would be my wife.  I was living at home, During School she lived a mile or so away in a cozy little dorm room.  When summer came she really had no “home”  She lived with friends a mile or so away from her parents house (because she just couldn’t live there anymore).  They all love/loved her but it still wasn’t home.  And she was an hour away from me  

We made it through the summer and the fall then late that winter January to be exact, I bought “the ring.”  Later that same day we would be having dinner with her parents and I decided that I would ask her fathers permission to give his youngest daughter the ring, and take her and start a new family with her.  That wouldn’t happen… As close as I can tell He died roughly 1 hour before I bought the ring.  He wouldn’t be found for another 6 hours. 

Well I decided to tell her sisters and thier husband and girlfriend, what I had planned and they all said go for it.  So I did.  Colleen and I made it through the next few months which were very rocky for her family… come to think of it they are still rocky with her family.

Then the day came when Colleen told me she thought she might be pregnant… and she was… WE were.  We upped our wedding date from June to November.  That brings me to this coming Friday.  April 18th is our first daughters 5th birthday.

I want to pause here because it occurs to me how often in this society young lives in so many homes are wasted.  They are ignored, neglected, abused… physically… mentally… spiritually… emotionally.  They are seen as ugly reminders of a father they will never meet.  They are treated like burdens, and blamed by their own parents for causing them to struggle.  They are even seen like meal tickets by some families.  and in the worst case they aren’t even given a shot at life, thrown in the trash with as much care and love as leftover meat loaf.

This Breaks my heart. 

5 years ago being a father was something I wanted… when I was older.  Not at the age of 22, not as a “nearly wed.”  I knew as a child growing up that I wanted to be a father and have 12 kids… We are done with 2 in case you were wondering.

I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING ABOUT THESE LAST 5 YEARS!  This last 5 years have shown me real friendship and Love from the people that stood by us and supported us through those crazy times.  It showed us how to rely on God.  We struggled and he lifted us up like a cheesy Josh Groban song.  It taught us the importance of Family.  Whether they are blood or friends that are closer than a brother.  We were shown plenty of examples of Family.  We learned from them and developed our own thing.  I am so thankful for the amazing and less than amazing examples we have had… It gave us hope and a direction, it also showed us what we didn’t want to be.

Most importantly I gained a beautiful daughter.  She brings be so much Joy.  She has taught be how to Love, and be loved.  She is Smart, Funny, Creative, Sensitive, Loving, Caring, Clumsy, and Cuddly.  She shares my love for Music, she makes up songs, dances around like a monkey, and begs me to teach her guitar.  She loves the Red Sox and Jason Varitek, and Hates “those yucky Yankees!”.  She wants to me a mommy someday and she will be great at it.  She loves God and our church family.  She makes deep connections with people and remembers them long after they are gone.  She still reminds me about her times with PaPa(my father who died when she was 2) with amazing accuracy.

She isn’t perfect, she spills, and makes messes, she fights with her sister, and doesn’t always listen.  But I Love her anyway.  And I thank God for her.

This Friday my little girl turns 5… And I am so blessed and humbled by it all.

 

Billy