I’ve been thinking a lot about affairs and divorce lately… (Colleen… nothing involving us… I Love You!)  It seems every time I turn around I am hit with news of another couple splitting up, or the rumors of the same.  It really breaks my heart when I hear these stories.  I don’t even need the details to be completely drained emotionally.

It’s sad because at one time these people where so in love, they would get all giddy just thinking about the other.  They would get excited about there future together, they would dream together, they would plan together.  There hearts and minds where completely in sync… Now they don’t want to live in the same house that they dreamed about, they don’t talk anymore, they won’t even look at each other.  What changed?

I believe at the heart of all this that they let selfishness creep in and take hold of there hearts and minds.  They stopped living for others and started living for themselves.  At some point they forgot about the vows they made to each other.  They stopped bearing with one another and started blaming, They forgot about till death do us part, and started leaving (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually).

It’s easy to leave and let selfishness creep in.  It’s easy to run away. It’s easy to blame the other.  It’s hard to stay, and talk it out, to forgive, to choose to love.  If we are not careful it WILL happen to us.  If we don’t work with our spouse to continually improve our relationship, if we stop trying to find new ways to meet the others needs, if we don’t put them first, WE WILL FAIL. It’s not a matter of if but when.

I’m not throwing stones.  I’m not perfect.  My relationship with Colleen isn’t perfect.  There are plenty of instances where we are selfish… Come on over and look at the pile of dishes that need to be washed.  We both know that the other wants them done, neither of us want to do them, and so they sit.  Now does this signify the end of our marriage?  No… but if left unchecked it could lead to feelings of neglect, which could lead into everything I described above. (The dishes have since been done… now it’s laundry)

Let me challenge you to go home pull out a picture of the 2 of you when you were dating, reflect on those times, do the dishes, make up the bed, buy some flowers,  and when the kids go to sleep sit your spouse down and ask them what you need to change.  Don’t let your lazy, self centered, egotistical  nature win.  Don’t sit there with a list of what they need to change.  Do it honestly and humbly.  Do the work of making your Marriage better then you possibly imagined it could be.  Pray together.  Dream together.  Then “Go to bed!”

Trust me it a lot better than the alternative.

Rewind almost exactly 2 years ago to NFL Quarter back Michael Vick being convicted of essentially Cruelty to animals and lieing.  For that he was sentenced to 23 months in federal prison.

Today NFL wide receiver Donte Stallworth plead guilty to felony manslaughter stemming from a drunk driving “accident” in which he hit and killed a pedestrian on his way to work, and was sentenced to 30 DAYS in jail.

Now rewind to April 2009 when Los Angeles Angels of Anehiem pitcher Nick Adenhart was killed in an accident by a drunk driver that fled the scene and was caught 30 minutes later.  The driver has yet to face charges.

People are screaming that Vick not be allowed back into the NFL, while hardly a murmur is being uttered against Stallworth.  Yet I have seen and heard people calling for the death penalty for the drunk driver in the Adenhart death.

Don’t get me wrong what Vick did is disgusting, but we are talking about the value of life between Humans, Cats and Dogs.  Unfortunately the scales of justice where a bit out of whack here.

Oh and just to throw another nugget of information your way Manny Ramirez steroid suspension is twice as long as Donte Stallworth’s jail sentence.

Is the justice department to blame? P.E.T.A? Have we become numb to the effects of drunk driving?  Or is what we value becoming a bit out of touch with reality?

Someone just called my cell and left a very detailed message, then called my home phone left another very detailed message, and then called my cell phone AGAIN! this time I was out of the bathroom and answered the phone.  Had I realized that those other phone calls had taken place I probably would have been less than pleasant with the caller so it’s probably good I didn’t know.

The subject matter was not all that important.  It was something I could have responded to in the next couple hours and everything would have been fine.

But come on 3 times in 5 minutes???

I don’t feel the need to jump up and answer the phone when people call.  if it’s important I will call you as soon as I hear the message.  Relax and breath deep until then.

Billy

I heard someone on the radio the other day say that “the definition of insanity is: doing the same thing multiple times and expecting different results.”

Now I don’t know if I would leave that as the only barometer for measuring someones hold on sanity.  But I did sit in a room today with a bunch of pastors/clergy that all expressed “we want to reach new people… but we don’t want to change what we are doing.”

To be fair they didn’t say those exact words.  But I would give them more credit if they had.

This past Sunday at Fellowship, Marty talked about cementing the method instead of cementing the mission.  If we think about it we see examples all around us of businesses, churches, organizations, governments, and sadly even families falling apart because they have taken the trivial and exalted it to a place of high importance.

The mission for all Christ followers is simple “Go and make disciples.”  The mission for your family can be found in the vows you made on your wedding day.  Organizations and buisnesses have Mission statements but far to often they get sidetracked by money, success, branding, and they loose the plot.

In an article the ran this week in multiple papers in our area and nationaly it was presented that New england is now the “leader” in the unchurched, non religious people group.  Is it because the religious are moving? No it’s because as a whole “The Church” has lost the plot. We have set our eyes, our hearts, and our attention on something other than the creator, savior, sustainer, of the world.

We need to wake up and seek him if we ever want to see things change.

I asked this question on Twitter earlier and thought I would ask it here too.

What bugs you about different organizations web sites? for me I hate having to scroll. If I have to scroll you are cramming to much useless crap on your page. also I hate when I need to click 15 times to find useful info.

I am thinking about some (minor) changes to FellowshipHolden.com and want to know what to avoid. So I guess the other question I should ask is…

What do you like that Organizations do on there site? I think it’s obvious what I like. Short, sweet, easy to navigate.

No, I’m not from the hill of West Virginia.  but I think it is important for me to date my daughters.  Atleast as much if not more so than it id for me to continue dating my wife.

As a father of 2 beautiful girls there is this warrior deep down inside of me that is always ready to defend my girls.  Protect them for slandor, any form of abuse, hunger, cold, etc.  This warrior is ready to fight to the death.  I am called to protect my children.  Heck my name means “determined gaurdian.”

I think a part of protecting them means that I need to be teaching them.  That is why I choose to date my daughters.  I am teaching them that they are precious one of a kind creatures and should be thought of and treated that way by the people that love them.  When we go on our dates I do things like open the door for them, pull out there seat and the push it in for them, I will occassionally buy them flowers, I let them pick the place, and then we talk.  We talk about school, friends, church, whatever is happening in there lives.  I tell them how much I love them and some of the many ways they are special to me, we talk about the things that make me proud of them, we pray, and I ask God to protect them and help me to be a great dad for them.  In short I treat them like Princesses.

This may not seem like much now but I know that with years those conversations will become deeper, more meaningful and heartfelt.  And they will become acustomed to being treated like I treat them.  My hope is that when they are 29-30 years old and start dating that they will look for a guy that does those things that I used to do, if not they get kicked to the curb.  Perhaps I should teach the Karate too…

Do you have a valentines plans?

1. Is it possible to have a “Bad Quality?”  If it is truly a quality shouldn’t it add value and be worth having?

2. The only people that say “your loyal to a fault” are those that don’t like what you stand for.  No one that has ever felt the true loyalty of others could use that term.

That’s it just two thoughts that have been rolling around my brain today.

I Thought I would share with you 5 things that have me excited right now.

#1.  FCTV Is attracting visitors every week.  For the past month we have had double digit visitors.  Some repeat visitors, some new, some people who slept in, some who  stayed home sick.  We have had people from ME, NH, MA, VT, NY, PA, OH, one guy from Germany, and more join us on live on Sunday mornings.  We are still working out the kinks but we can already see God working through this.

#2 Chocolate covered Gummy bears.  They are rare and hard to find, so I savor each one when I do find them.

#3 I had the opportunity to play my guitar today for the first time in weeks.  I loaned it to my friend and worship leader, whose guitar is “in the shop.”  Well actually it is in his closet.  Why fix yours when you can play mine?  On a possibly related note the worship was outstanding this week.  If you missed it you can still check it out by clicking “on Demand” on our FCTV player.

#4 I started receiving my unemployment checks this week.  Not much but if they want to pay me for looking for a job I’d be stupid not to take the money.  Also I hear rumors of paid career training.  How sweet would that be.  I may be the only person in this current economic situation to be excited about being laid off.

#5 I have an amazing Wife.  She works incredibly hard and does an amazing job at each thing she puts her mind and heart to.  She defines loyalty, and responsibility.  She is also the mother to our 2 amazing girls.  1 has my attitude and the other has hers.  And they are a constant reminder of how much God Loves us.

So what are 5 things that have you excited?

I am really torn about who to root for in the Super bowl.  So I am going to list a series of pros and cons for both teams.

Steelers

Pros

They are the AFC Representative.

I really like there style of play

*They tore up the pats this year (* can’t decide if it’s a pro or con)

Cons

They are still whining about every time the Patriots beat them.

Steelers fans live on ancient history except when it suits them.

* They tore up the Pats this year.

My Pastor is a Stellers fan and even though he thinks he doesn’t “talk” smack, he will walk around with a cocky smile all year and toss out little jibs about the champs.

Cardinals

Pros

Larry Fitzgerald is a man in every sense of the word!

I like Arizona it is a beautiful place

They are the underdog

They aren’t the Steelers

Cons

Quite possibly the worst name for a football team. Cardinals are not scary or intimidating unless you are Catholic.

All the talk about Kurt Warner being a Christian and deserving a win (last time I checked he wasn’t the only Believer to play the game.)

All the talk of him being a HOF player.  He’s not!

They are the NFC Team (I know it’s a stupid reason)

The Patriots were 11-5 and beats the Cardinals 47-7 and didn’t make the playoffs. while the Cardinals waltzed in with a 9-7 record.

They had to get multiple extensions for ticket sales to avoid having there home playoff  games blacked out in AZ.

Did I miss anything?

In the end I will be rooting for a great game, just like last years Super bowl… although the outcome was horrible.

Last night I had the amazing oppertunity to Worship God in my kitchen.  Newspring church launched the Beta realease of there web campus and so I set up my laptop in the kitchen while my wife,  the girls, and I made brownies.  We sat around eating left overs while participating in a worship service.  On a side note I had a beer with dinner which according to the “conservative, american, southern, we love god more than you” journal may mark the first time in history that someone drank during church.

It was awesome to see both my girls sitting around the kitchen table glued to the screen and singing there hearts out.  On a few of the songs they did what we all do when we don’t know the words… you know “naaa na naaahhhh loooovve, naaa na naaahhhh.”  But on the songs they knew they sang loud and proud.  At a few points my eyes filled with tears as I listened to them sing.

The girls asked and I was able to answer questions about Baptism as they showed some of there people taking the dip.

God was very Present in my kitchen last night.  And I am thankful for the opportunity to worship with my family in such a unique way.

So thank you Pastor Nick, Joshua Blankenship, Tony Morgan, and the rest of the staff and volunteers at NewSpring, for offering that oppertunity.

On a similar note we have started doing a web campus at Fellowship that can be seen here.  We are live every Sunday Morning at 10:30am.  If you can’t join us live it is available “on demand” imediatly following the live broadcast.